come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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