Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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