i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
