i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Pants are for mortals
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
