ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
