He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
