Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
