Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize