can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
