Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Vodka?
Forever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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