Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
