My liver just broke up with me...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize