I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
