brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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