your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
