if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
