oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
