U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
