So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
