He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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