and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize