Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
