Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
