oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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