Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
