have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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