rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
