There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize