she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize