Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
