oh god the rape fog is back!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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