He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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