I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have already put on my inside pants.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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