I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize