i would punch a child for taco bell
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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