I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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