she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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