I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
