i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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