Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize