We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
