But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
