I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
