I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
