i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
MIDGETS
????
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
