I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
