fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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