i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
