nut hugger
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
