Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
