And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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