How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize