How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
