If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize