I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
