I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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