So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
