I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
