I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So squirting runs in the family.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
