How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
