I'm jealous of your bromance
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
