Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
