the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
