ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
