Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
