I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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