that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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