Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
