thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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