He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize