I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
