im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize