Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
