p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
