why im i the only drunk person in the library?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
