how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
