You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
