my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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